08.08.98

signing its death warrant
i strip
         the skin from its torso
and proceed in my monster madness
knowing full well that i don't *need* her
to hand me the number
it would just be more convenient
take a little less effort
but that's not why i'm a tree killer today
it's more the judement it implies
i am obvious and transparent in order
		to be real
not as a way 

...

i love that the worst is expected
though no-one knows *why* i'm a killer
a ...


And amidst all of it I struggle to find humility
accept truth
and wonder if i have any momentum at all...
monsters often do.
"i've watched you chew up and spit out so many different dishes,"
she says, and i wonder how many gave their lives willingly to
this carnivore
AND THIS BIG BROTHER STUFF SUCKS SHIT